Hysterical, and Very Embarrassing

Here's the song Kathryn Leigh Scott, Marie Wallace, and I did at the festival in Tarrytown, June 2014.
The fan who volunteered to do the music cue messed up and didn't know which button to push. Ah, show business . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VcaAZet2dM


In case you can't hear us, or understand us, here's the script:

BACK STAGE AT DARK SHADOWS

(Kathryn, Lara and Marie are in the make-up room getting ready to go on)

K: I love doing love scenes with Jonathan, except when his fangs get tangled in my hair.

L: He remembers his lines?

K: Well, I do have to feed him a few, but he’s so romantic, don't you think Lara? 

L: Personally I think love scenes are boring. I liked our fight scenes.

K. Yes, well, you are better at fight scenes.

M: Now girls don't start.

Off Stage: Five minutes!

K: Has anyone seen my blusher?

L: You know, Marie, in our scene don't you think you're a little over the top?

K: Well that's the pot calling the kettle black.

M: Are you saying I'm over acting? She's crazy! Crazy Jenny is crazy!

L: I donno, all that screaming.

M: That was when I was playing Eve, two months ago. What's happening to your memory, Lara?"

L: Well, you acted just as crazy playing Eve.

M : I wasn't crazy, I was the reincarnation of a convicted murderess. Remember?!!

K: Don't mind her. Where's my blusher?

L: Your hair looks really nice today.

K: Thanks

L: Is that a wig?

M: You really are unbelievable.

K: I've told you both a million times that no one else is supposed to use my blusher.

L: Why is that again? 

K: I've got really nice skin and I need to protect it.

L: Oh right, I forgot. Your face is your fortune.

K: Yup, no face lifts for me.

M: Please, we have to go on in a minute. 

K: (sees brush in Lara's hand) Is that it?

L: (surprised) This?

K (slaps the brush out of Lara's hand.)  

L: Owww! You hit me!

K: (picks up brush) Don’t be a baby.

L: She hit me!

Some one calls "Places!"

M: It's time. Come on, weve got to go do our scene.

K: Nice costume, Lara. Too bad it didn't come in your color.

L: My color?

K: Yeah, green.

M: Girls! We're all in this together, right? Remember . . . ?

Music . . .

[Marie]    It’s a good thing we teamed up years ago.

[Lara]      We're three of a kind, right?

           [Kathryn] Through smiles and tears!

           [Marie]     Thick and thin!

           [Lara]       Blood and gore!

MUSIC

1. [Marie] If you're ever in a jam, here I am.

    [Lara] If you ever need a pal, I'm your gal.

    [Kathryn] If you ever go so crazy you land in jail, I'm your bail.

 [All)

It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships have been forgot

Ours will still be hot!

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-dig-dig-dig

2. [Kathryn] If you're ever down a well, ring my bell.

    [Marie] If you’re ever up in flames, I’m your dame

   [Lara] If you ever lose your teeth when you're out to dine, Borrow mine.

 (All)

 It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships are on the skids

We will still be kids

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-hep-hep-hep

3. [Kathryn] If a vampire bites your neck, here’s a check.

    [Marie] If your neck begin to bleed, we can feed.

    [Lara] If they ever put a stake down deep in your heart, We won’t part.

 [All]

It's friendship, friendship, just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships go up in smoke

Ours will still be oke!

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-goof-goof-goof.

4. [Marie] If your coffin springs a leak, I won’t shriek

    [Lara) If they ever crack your spine, drop a line

    [Kathryn) If the green slime wants to make a meal of you, I’ll be blue

(All) It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships have gone to pot

Ours will still be hot

Laddle ladle loodle ding ding ding

5. [Marie] If you ever cast a spell, I won’t tell

    [Kathryn] If you fall from Widow’s Hill, here’s a pill.

    [Lara] If Barnabas invites you up to his lair, I’ll be there

[All]

It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships have petered out

Ours will give a shout!

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle- dig, dig, dig

6. [Kathryn] If Louis rolls his eyes, call the guys. 

    [Marie] If Nancy sings a tune, I won’t swoon,

    [Lara] If Karlen opens that casket one more time, I’ll go blind!

[All] It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships are up the crick,

Ours will still be slick!

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle- goof goof goof

7. [Marie] If you ever catch on fire, send a wire. 

    [Lara] If they ever cut your throat, send a note.

    [Kathryn] If they ever make a cannibal stew of you, Invite me too!

[All]

It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships hit the deck,

Ours is what the heck!  

Odle odle odle woo woo woo

 8. [Lara] If a zombie eats your face, I’ll replace (it)

     [Marie] If a vampire steals your heart, we won’t part.

     [Kathryn] If a werewolf wants to tear you limb from limb, I’ll sing a hymn. (sings Amazing Grace – may cut this)

 (All)

It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships have ceased to jell

Ours will still be swell!

    [Marie] Quack-quack-quack

    [Lara] Woof-woof-woof

    [Kathryn] Meow, meow, meow

 [All]

When other friendships begin to rot,

Ours will still be hot!

Ours will still be hot!