Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Los Angeles Times Festival of Books - April 22, 23, at USC campus.


I'm happy to announce that I will participating on a panel at the La Times Festival of Books

this Sunday, April 23, at 3:00, entitled "From Page to Screen to Page: Writing in Hollywood."

The panel will be at USC, the Salvatori Computer Science Center, room 101, 

and I will be signing  my books afterwards in signing area 2. I would love to see friends there.

I need someone to ask a question as I will be talking about Dark Shadows and the importance of fans.

I'm thrilled to have been invited. I always go every year, and it is a wonderful event for writers.

Many tips, and words of wisdom, are always revealed.

Thursday, 4 December 2014


Come to the Caribbean! Now that you are shivering under blankets and looking out your window at snow and sleet, doesn’t the world of luminous, body-temperature water and sun warmed sand seem inviting?

It’s not too late, but you have to hurry!

You can still join Josette, Angelique, Reverend Trask and Crazy Jenny on this once in a lifetime cruise to five tropical islands, each with its own unique character and cuisine.

Take off from St. Thomas for snorkeling at St. John’s National Park where you can follow turtles and schools of angel fish. Swim with sting rays in Antigua. Roam through the volcano destroyed town of St. Pierre in Martinique where you may stumble across Angelique and Josette in the ruins of the old Opera House.

Gasp at the Pitons of St. Lucia, and hike through rainforests or luxuriate on the white sand beaches. Take a tour to the Seven Sisters waterfalls in the rainforest of unspoiled Grenada, or take a boat to the unrivaled snorkeling of the Tobago Keys.

And this doesn’t even begin to describe the dinners on board the ship! We had a great time last year, but this year will be even better! Guzzling mai tais, dancing at the costume ball, or just kicking back in the tropics, on a new beach every day. Incomparable!

Go to

to view the whole itinerary.

This is the only Dark Shadows festival until 2016!

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Hysterical, and Very Embarrassing

Here's the song Kathryn Leigh Scott, Marie Wallace, and I did at the festival in Tarrytown, June 2014.
The fan who volunteered to do the music cue messed up and didn't know which button to push. Ah, show business . . .


In case you can't hear us, or understand us, here's the script:


(Kathryn, Lara and Marie are in the make-up room getting ready to go on)

K: I love doing love scenes with Jonathan, except when his fangs get tangled in my hair.

L: He remembers his lines?

K: Well, I do have to feed him a few, but he’s so romantic, don't you think Lara? 

L: Personally I think love scenes are boring. I liked our fight scenes.

K. Yes, well, you are better at fight scenes.

M: Now girls don't start.

Off Stage: Five minutes!

K: Has anyone seen my blusher?

L: You know, Marie, in our scene don't you think you're a little over the top?

K: Well that's the pot calling the kettle black.

M: Are you saying I'm over acting? She's crazy! Crazy Jenny is crazy!

L: I donno, all that screaming.

M: That was when I was playing Eve, two months ago. What's happening to your memory, Lara?"

L: Well, you acted just as crazy playing Eve.

M : I wasn't crazy, I was the reincarnation of a convicted murderess. Remember?!!

K: Don't mind her. Where's my blusher?

L: Your hair looks really nice today.

K: Thanks

L: Is that a wig?

M: You really are unbelievable.

K: I've told you both a million times that no one else is supposed to use my blusher.

L: Why is that again? 

K: I've got really nice skin and I need to protect it.

L: Oh right, I forgot. Your face is your fortune.

K: Yup, no face lifts for me.

M: Please, we have to go on in a minute. 

K: (sees brush in Lara's hand) Is that it?

L: (surprised) This?

K (slaps the brush out of Lara's hand.)  

L: Owww! You hit me!

K: (picks up brush) Don’t be a baby.

L: She hit me!

Some one calls "Places!"

M: It's time. Come on, weve got to go do our scene.

K: Nice costume, Lara. Too bad it didn't come in your color.

L: My color?

K: Yeah, green.

M: Girls! We're all in this together, right? Remember . . . ?

Music . . .
[Marie]    It’s a good thing we teamed up years ago.
[Lara]      We're three of a kind, right?
           [Kathryn] Through smiles and tears!
           [Marie]     Thick and thin!
           [Lara]       Blood and gore!


1. [Marie] If you're ever in a jam, here I am.
    [Lara] If you ever need a pal, I'm your gal.
    [Kathryn] If you ever go so crazy you land in jail, I'm your bail.
It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have been forgot
Ours will still be hot!

2. [Kathryn] If you're ever down a well, ring my bell.
    [Marie] If you’re ever up in flames, I’m your dame
   [Lara] If you ever lose your teeth when you're out to dine, Borrow mine.
 It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships are on the skids
We will still be kids

3. [Kathryn] If a vampire bites your neck, here’s a check.
    [Marie] If your neck begin to bleed, we can feed.
    [Lara] If they ever put a stake down deep in your heart, We won’t part.
It's friendship, friendship, just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships go up in smoke
Ours will still be oke!

4. [Marie] If your coffin springs a leak, I won’t shriek
    [Lara) If they ever crack your spine, drop a line
    [Kathryn) If the green slime wants to make a meal of you, I’ll be blue
(All) It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have gone to pot
Ours will still be hot
Laddle ladle loodle ding ding ding

5. [Marie] If you ever cast a spell, I won’t tell
    [Kathryn] If you fall from Widow’s Hill, here’s a pill.
    [Lara] If Barnabas invites you up to his lair, I’ll be there
It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have petered out
Ours will give a shout!
Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle- dig, dig, dig

6. [Kathryn] If Louis rolls his eyes, call the guys. 
    [Marie] If Nancy sings a tune, I won’t swoon,
    [Lara] If Karlen opens that casket one more time, I’ll go blind!
[All] It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships are up the crick,
Ours will still be slick!
Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle- goof goof goof

7. [Marie] If you ever catch on fire, send a wire. 
    [Lara] If they ever cut your throat, send a note.
    [Kathryn] If they ever make a cannibal stew of you, Invite me too!
It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships hit the deck,
Ours is what the heck!  
Odle odle odle woo woo woo

 8. [Lara] If a zombie eats your face, I’ll replace (it)
     [Marie] If a vampire steals your heart, we won’t part.
     [Kathryn] If a werewolf wants to tear you limb from limb, I’ll sing a hymn. (sings Amazing Grace – may cut this)
It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have ceased to jell
Ours will still be swell!
    [Marie] Quack-quack-quack
    [Lara] Woof-woof-woof
    [Kathryn] Meow, meow, meow
When other friendships begin to rot,
Ours will still be hot!
Ours will still be hot!

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Four New Photographs

Dark Shadows Festival this weekend in Tarrytown, New York - June 27-29 - a day at Lyndhurst and a visit to Sleepy Hollow Cemetery. i can't wait to see everybody there! Thanks to hard working friends, Krista Knicker and Jim Pierson, I have four new pictures that should bring back some memories. (About time!)

Thursday, 13 February 2014


March 7, 8, 9 MONSTERMANIA Cherry Hill, N.J. (That's Philadelphia)

May 23, 24, 25 MOBICON Mobile, Alabama
Renaissance Riverview Plaza

May 30, 31, June 1 CONCAROLINAS
Charlotte Hilton University Place
8629 JM Keynes
Charlotte, NC 28262

June 27, 28, 29 DARK SHADOWS CONVENTION Tarrytown, NY

October 24, 25, 26 EPIC-CON GEEK FEST
Dayton, Ohio
Courtyard by Marriott University

Wednesday, 9 October 2013


While my supplies last:

Any book for $15.00 plus $5.00 shipping --- $20.00 total, signed with any dedication you like.

Any two books for $25.00 plus $5.00 shipping --- $30.00 signed with any dedication you like.

All three books for $30.00 plus $5.00 shipping --- $35.00 signed with any dedication you like.

Send a check or money order to Lara Parker, Box 1254, Topanga, CA 90290

BE SURE TO SAY if you want it personalized, and who it is to, otherwise I will just autograph it.