Tuesday 15 July 2014

Hysterical, and Very Embarrassing


Here's the song Kathryn Leigh Scott, Marie Wallace, and I did at the festival in Tarrytown, June 2014.
The fan who volunteered to do the music cue messed up and didn't know which button to push. Ah, show business . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VcaAZet2dM


In case you can't hear us, or understand us, here's the script:

BACK STAGE AT DARK SHADOWS

(Kathryn, Lara and Marie are in the make-up room getting ready to go on)


K: I love doing love scenes with Jonathan, except when his fangs get tangled in my hair.

L: He remembers his lines?

K: Well, I do have to feed him a few, but he’s so romantic, don't you think Lara? 

L: Personally I think love scenes are boring. I liked our fight scenes.

K. Yes, well, you are better at fight scenes.

M: Now girls don't start.

Off Stage: Five minutes!

K: Has anyone seen my blusher?

L: You know, Marie, in our scene don't you think you're a little over the top?

K: Well that's the pot calling the kettle black.

M: Are you saying I'm over acting? She's crazy! Crazy Jenny is crazy!

L: I donno, all that screaming.

M: That was when I was playing Eve, two months ago. What's happening to your memory, Lara?"

L: Well, you acted just as crazy playing Eve.

M : I wasn't crazy, I was the reincarnation of a convicted murderess. Remember?!!

K: Don't mind her. Where's my blusher?

L: Your hair looks really nice today.

K: Thanks

L: Is that a wig?

M: You really are unbelievable.

K: I've told you both a million times that no one else is supposed to use my blusher.

L: Why is that again? 

K: I've got really nice skin and I need to protect it.

L: Oh right, I forgot. Your face is your fortune.

K: Yup, no face lifts for me.

M: Please, we have to go on in a minute. 

K: (sees brush in Lara's hand) Is that it?

L: (surprised) This?

K (slaps the brush out of Lara's hand.)  

L: Owww! You hit me!

K: (picks up brush) Don’t be a baby.

L: She hit me!

Some one calls "Places!"

M: It's time. Come on, weve got to go do our scene.

K: Nice costume, Lara. Too bad it didn't come in your color.

L: My color?

K: Yeah, green.

M: Girls! We're all in this together, right? Remember . . . ?

Music . . .
[Marie]    It’s a good thing we teamed up years ago.
[Lara]      We're three of a kind, right?
           [Kathryn] Through smiles and tears!
           [Marie]     Thick and thin!
           [Lara]       Blood and gore!

MUSIC

1. [Marie] If you're ever in a jam, here I am.
    [Lara] If you ever need a pal, I'm your gal.
    [Kathryn] If you ever go so crazy you land in jail, I'm your bail.
 [All)
It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have been forgot
Ours will still be hot!
Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-dig-dig-dig

2. [Kathryn] If you're ever down a well, ring my bell.
    [Marie] If you’re ever up in flames, I’m your dame
   [Lara] If you ever lose your teeth when you're out to dine, Borrow mine.
 (All)
 It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships are on the skids
We will still be kids
Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-hep-hep-hep

3. [Kathryn] If a vampire bites your neck, here’s a check.
    [Marie] If your neck begin to bleed, we can feed.
    [Lara] If they ever put a stake down deep in your heart, We won’t part.
 [All]
It's friendship, friendship, just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships go up in smoke
Ours will still be oke!
Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-goof-goof-goof.

4. [Marie] If your coffin springs a leak, I won’t shriek
    [Lara) If they ever crack your spine, drop a line
    [Kathryn) If the green slime wants to make a meal of you, I’ll be blue
(All) It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have gone to pot
Ours will still be hot
Laddle ladle loodle ding ding ding

5. [Marie] If you ever cast a spell, I won’t tell
    [Kathryn] If you fall from Widow’s Hill, here’s a pill.
    [Lara] If Barnabas invites you up to his lair, I’ll be there
[All]
It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have petered out
Ours will give a shout!
Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle- dig, dig, dig


6. [Kathryn] If Louis rolls his eyes, call the guys. 
    [Marie] If Nancy sings a tune, I won’t swoon,
    [Lara] If Karlen opens that casket one more time, I’ll go blind!
[All] It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships are up the crick,
Ours will still be slick!
Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle- goof goof goof

7. [Marie] If you ever catch on fire, send a wire. 
    [Lara] If they ever cut your throat, send a note.
    [Kathryn] If they ever make a cannibal stew of you, Invite me too!
[All]
It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships hit the deck,
Ours is what the heck!  
Odle odle odle woo woo woo

 8. [Lara] If a zombie eats your face, I’ll replace (it)
     [Marie] If a vampire steals your heart, we won’t part.
     [Kathryn] If a werewolf wants to tear you limb from limb, I’ll sing a hymn. (sings Amazing Grace – may cut this)
 (All)
It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have ceased to jell
Ours will still be swell!
    [Marie] Quack-quack-quack
    [Lara] Woof-woof-woof
    [Kathryn] Meow, meow, meow
 [All]
When other friendships begin to rot,
Ours will still be hot!
Ours will still be hot!
  



3 comments:

  1. My comment keeps disappearing, very funny stuff. Thanks for sharing. Best witches

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tony, I don't know how e got through it!

      Delete
  2. This was hilarious! Love you so much!

    ReplyDelete